Funny

I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing. Where do pirates get their hooks? Second hand stores.

“What’s your name, son?” The principal asked his student. The kid replied, “D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.” “Do you have a stutter?” the principal asked. The student answered, “No sir, my dad has…

A son tells his father, “I have an imaginary girlfriend.” The father sighs and says, “You know, you could do better.” “Thanks Dad,” the son says. “That means a lot.”…

I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he’s still making fun of me. I wasn’t close to my father…

How do cows stay up to date? They read the Moo-spaper. What’s the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.