Dad Jokes

Who were the greenest Presidents in US history? The bushes. My hotel tried to charge me ten dollars extra for air conditioning. That wasn’t cool.

What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barberqueue. In fact, if you sneer at any other method of measuring liquids, you may be held…

Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable. In America, using the metric system can get you in legal…

I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing. Where do pirates get their hooks? Second hand stores.

How do cows stay up to date? They read the Moo-spaper. What’s the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.